DOs and DON'Ts for single dudes
As a single girl, I feel I could write a whole book on this subject, I have a thing or fifty to say about what I think single guys should and shouldn't be doing!!! BUT, fear not! This post is not going to be another girls rant at guys- it has been put together by actual dudes, for dudes! However, I couldn't help but add my commentary in ( ).
Your tireless attempts at getting yourself a significant other have left you in stitches singing "I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding in love, you cut me open and I keep bleeding"...or maybe you have been relegated to the friend-zone and you can't seem to shake it off…or perhaps you are caught in the ‘dating cycle’ which is best described by the words of Miss Taylor Swift “I go on to many dates, but I can't make them stay, at least that's what people say”
If you find yourself in any of these situations…here are some things you will need to survive.
DO:
1. Chase your vision
Get a purpose to hustle for! Know what you want in life and be very clear about it. Life is for the living and the living have a vision! Word around the street is girls like visionary guys (yes!) so be that guy! As the saying goes, luck favours the prepared.
2. Pump your confidence
Settle it in your mind: you are not alone because you are unwanted, unloved, or rejected. Your manhood is not defined by the presence or absence of a ‘bae’ in your life. You know that you can be great - don’t let acceptance or rejection set the pace for your self-esteem. (I have to say confidence is one of the most attractive things a guy could have)
3. Build your character
Character unfortunately is not on top of the 'list' that girls have, it tends to be the less prioritised thing on the list. Oh sorry, spoiler, should have warned you gents! Girls have a list! The only thing I'm gonna say about the list is, the less you know about it the better off you're. I don't know any man that can meet all the requirements on the list. (Pssh...whatever! Character is at top of A LOT of girls' lists. My list is not unrealistic at all! I'm sure that my dreamy eyed, world changing astronaut who rescues stray rabbits and fights wild fires in his spare time EXISTS hehe!)
Having character is being able to see people for who they really are- looking past the make-up. You will need to train your eyes to see ‘the gold’ in each person regardless of their superficial appearance. While you can most certainly spend your singleness body building and getting ripped, don’t neglect to put some work into character building!
4. Invest your time wisely
Being single has an added advantage of not having to plan your life around someone else. You can watch rugby, then soccer and finish it off with cricket without having to explain yourself! This is also a great time to work on building genuine, lasting friendships with guys and girls with whom you can ‘do life’! Working on your friendships will teach you to put the needs of others’ above your own- a skill that will come in handy when you finally get together with your ‘better half’
5. Shift your focus
Spend less time trying to get the girl! Enjoy your singleness man! Use this season to focus on things of greater value. A great place to start is by developing a relationship with God. The only way to thrive in the above points is by connecting to the God who created you. Fix your eyes on Him, any girl worth your time will do the same. When the right time comes, God will lead your path to collide with that special someone's, and when He does…make your move! (Amen! Emphasis on MAKE YOUR MOVE hehe)
DON’T:
1.Have unrealistic expectations
You know that perfect girl that you are searching for? NEWSFLASH: SHE DOESN’T EXIST! You and I both know that you ain’t perfect, so don’t be that dude that misses out on a great girl because an ideal girl who doesn’t exist. okay, fine, perhaps girls need realistic expctations too! Good bye animal rescuing astronaut:-(
2. Fall into the ‘bestie-zone’
There is one thing worse than the friend-zone- THE BESTIE ZONE! If you are bffs with a girl, the probability is that one of you will fall for the other (true dat!) unfortunately, the feeling might not be mutual. So to avoid drama, avoid besties!
3. Settle for instant gratification
There is no other way to put this- drop the one night stands and porn! Instant sexual gratification outside the bounds of marriage is selfish and will establish your sexuality completely apart from real-life relationships, causing huge problems in your intimacy with real significant others. (this is just as true for girls)
4. Be afraid of taking risks
Play the game! Yes you might get batted sometimes but, a wicket is around the corner. (I don't know how I feel about girls being refered to as a wickets) Don’t waste your time pondering the many ways she could turn you down- don’t think about that stuff- ask her out and take it from there. TAKE A RISK! (I couldn't agree more! The more risks taken, the less blog posts we will need about singleness!)