26 and single in 2016 : a survival guide

It’s the month of LOVE!

I am by no means a relationship expert but, I would consider myself an expert at being single! From my experience, being single in February can either go really well or really bad! After 26 years of being single in the month of love, I thought it only appropriate to share my “Singles’ Survival Guide”

What you will need:

1. Real Girlfriends

Real, honest, ride or die girlfriends are God’s gift to the single girl. They will stay up and listen to you describing all your bad date horror stories. They are especially vital when you need to get through your latest crush! They will be your ‘supporting cast’, they cover up for you in those awkward group interactions with said crush, when you lose your mental faculties and start speaking gibberish.

Perhaps the most important thing that your girls can ever give you is tough love. Good girlfiriends are not afraid to slap you back to your senses when you lose your mental faculties. They will remind you of your worth when are tempted to rekindle that old flame with that guy who treated you like dirt.

2. Real Guyfriends

It takes a village to thrive in your singleness! Male friends are essential members of that village. Being able to relate to guys on a platonic level will help you to have less awkward interactions with the opposite sex- it will help you ‘humanise’ the male species.

Great guy friends will help you navigate your expectations of what a ‘real man’ is. If they are anything like mine, they will treat you like the queen that you are, this will undoubtedly raise your standard of what you look for in a potential mate. MOST IMPORTANTLY your boys will be your personal security guards- they will gladly punch any guy who messes with you!

*NB* Just make sure you clearly communicate your expectations with your guy friends, lest you be accused of friend-zoning them

3. A sound mind

You will need to keep your mind in check and not overanalyse each interaction you have with the opposite sex. For example, you do not need to spend all night trying to figure out what Steve meant when he asked you what time it is. No. He is not trying to hint that time stands still when he is with you. Honey, he just wants to know what the time is.

4. A zest for life

Get a hobby! Knit Something! Complete your bucket list! Summit Mt Kilimanjaro! Develop a vision and mission for your life! Get to know yourself! Dress up, put on some lipstick and take yourself to your favourite restaurant! LIVE!

5. JESUS

You will need a whole lot of Jesus! You are loved by the Maker of the entire universe that means you are a big deal, you will need to remind yourself of this often. What you will need is not just a #JesusIsMyValentine cliché, but a real relationship with the One who loved you before you were born!

What you WON’T need

1. Self-Pity

Thriving in your singleness is a party! Resist the urge to turn it into a pity party. Of course you will feel lonely at times, but that is probably just a sign that you have been listening to too much Adele and watching one too many rom-coms!

2. Comparison

Those well-meaning aunties who will want to fix you up with their plumbers’ son because your biological clock is ticking- you won’t need them! You will need to learn how to drown out their nagging voices when they tell you about Cousin so and so who is your age and just had her second baby. Your ‘love story’ is as unique as you are, comparing yourself with others will only steal your joy.

3. Compromise

You are not desperate! You are not having a crisis! Honey, you do not need to be with any Tom, Dick or Harry just so you can change your relationship status on Facebook! No. Settling is not the answer. I’m not saying you will meet someone who checks all the 57 points on your list of qualities you look for in a guy. But you cannot allow yourself to be with someone who will treat you like anything less than the gem that you are!

This means you do not need to keep flirting with that old flame who always leaves you heart broken and you certainly you do not need to keep entertaining texts from that guy who clearly doesn’t see you as anything more than a body to be objectified. You are a Princess! Act like it!

*This is written from a Christian girl’s perspective, because, well, I’m a Christian girl.

I would love to feature the guys’ version. So dudes, if you are up for the challenge- please do drop me a mail!*