That one time I got married
19th September 2012- ten days before my 23rd birthday, I got married :-)
Ok, I was quite young, but we had been together for about 3 and a half years at that point, and it was anything but a rushed decision. The wedding was a perfect intimate ceremony in stunning Cape Town. A special moment that I will cherish for as long as I live. Perhaps the most memorable bit was the exchanging of our vows.
I sobbed as I said these words to seal my love and commitment to the man of my dreams:
"Today I become yours forever! I am willingly caught up in this romance. I give my life to pursuing your heart and searching your thoughts. I promise this day to love you beyond my emotions, to put you first, and to be your life partner."
He had written his vows way before I had even met him, of course, that only made me weep even more as he declared his love and commitment to me:
"Lindiwe, this ring is a symbol of my commitment to you. I vow to always wrap my proverbial cloak around your nakedness, to cover your weaknesses with my strengths. I promise you friendship, adventure and unconditional love. I declare my vows to you as a sign of my covenant with you- today you become mine and I yours...forever!"
In the weeks that followed I inhabited the classic image of a glowing bride. It felt like our love became more and more intense- I was finally free to love my Mr Right- without reservation.
While I was caught up in the honeymoon phase, I woke up to a chilling realization, I had married a man who loved me way more than I could ever reciprocate. Our marriage was like a tale of beauty and the beast, him beauty and I beast. I was a hot mess. I was haunted by nightmares of the dark shadows of my previous attempts at relationships. I was terrorized by the fear of losing him so I tried to leave him before he could leave me, but somehow I could not bring myself to. So I tried to push him away in order to accelerate the inevitable. I did everything I knew to repel him, from silent treatment to terrible tantrums.
But he met all my tantrums with a gentle resolve to lead me back to the reality that he loved me without reservation and that no amount of pushing back could manipulate him into leaving me. He taught me that true love was a reality, but I battled to grasp its eternity. I waited for the day that his love would run out, but it never came. His persistent commitment was like a blank cheque I could never repay, yet still I tried to. I had to, because I had vowed to. Even when I did not feel up to it, I had to. I had vowed to love him beyond my emotions.
By now you have probably figured out that the man I'm writing about is the Lover of my soul, a gentleman from Nazareth, the Savior of the world. Ours is a classic tale of the Prince and the girl next door- I am the Esther to His Xerxes, the Ruth to His Boaz- a commoner married to the King of all kings.
People often me ask about the ring I wear on my marriage finger, my default answer is to keep it short and simple- I say that it's a 'purity ring'. Let's face it- the long explanation would freak their socks out. But now that it's on the internet, well, now I can refer them to this post and they can freak out in their own time.
My 'purity ring' goes beyond a pledge to celibacy, it is a remider of the covenant I made with my First Love. Ha! Lord knows I need the reminder, especially at those MANY times when all I want to do is run away from Him!
Don't get me wrong, it's definately not something for everyone. And please don't read this and run off to the jewellery store, so you can be like "Jesus liked it, so he put a ring on it". No, please, just no!
PS* pre-empting any questions/concerns you may have:
1. No, I'm not a nun.
2. Yes, I am slightly insane to believe that, on this day 3 years ago, I 'got married to Jesus'.
3. Yes, I do plan on getting married to a man- like an actual tall, dark and handsome man and one day having lots of babies!
4. No, I don't worry that I might "miss" my future husband because he will think I'm already married/engaged.
5. No, getting married will not mean I'm cheating on Jesus or that I’m on some strange 'Big Love' polygamy vibe. I believe I will marry someone because I love them, and because I love Jesus, and that person has Christ in them. Our marriage will be founded and centred on Christ.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12